You do not mess with the BX, Get it!
When the trailer for Vampires vs. the Bronx was released near the end of last month, I was surprised how the marketing campaign was only starting about a week before the film’s release. For a film that started shooting in 2018, it was a long wait for the release, but still, Netflix could’ve promoted the movie better because it is incredible.
As it is probably evident by the title, Vampires vs. the Bronx is about a new kind of gentrification where vampires try to take over the area for their own gain slowly. The gentrification topic was playfully addressed in the movie, and the “colonizers” were literally made into blood-sucking vampires.
It was one of the funniest synopsis I read all year, and the trailer was also funny. With new faces headlining the movie, and some notable cameo appearances, I was fairly excited to see this. But never did I think I was going to enjoy this film as much as I did.
Kids vs. Vampires
Okay, there are obviously going to be some inconsistencies with a fantasy movie like this. Like how come the vampires are slow in killing the kids, then they are killing the adults? But kids fighting vampires should already give people the belief that some level of suspension of belief is required.
With that out of the way, Osmany Rodriguez, from SNL, brings together some fine young actors to deal with a real American minority community issue, with a twist of fantasy. He wrote the script for the movie with Blaise Hemmingway, and I have to admit, laughs came one after the other, and even after some serious moments, the levity only let up to put in some heavy commentaries.
In the movie, Luis and his two friends (one more joins later) find out that there are vampires living in the Bronx. Since no one cares for the people living in the Bronx, people start to go missing as they sign over their businesses for a lot of cash.
Luis figures out that vampires are living among them and later find out they are planning to start a nest to increase their numbers exponentially. Later we find out that the commander of the vampires is looking to settle its people and what better place for them, then the Bronx.
But the people of BX may be skeptical at first of Luis‘ claims, but they do come together to battle the vampires. Yes, the finish lacks a level of feel as the budget for the movie was obviously low. Still, the producers and everyone involved in the making of the movie did their best to knit together a funny movie.
I Only Have One Issue with Vampires vs. the Bronx
Vampires vs. the Bronx features a young cast going against vampires trying to gentrify their home.
I loved the movie; it was one of the hilarious films I’ve watched this year. It was a nice pallet cleanser from all the other shows and movies. But my one and the only problem with the movie was it was way too short.
Standing at only 86 minutes of runtime, it was not enough time to enjoy the movie fully. I started watching the film, and the ending snuck up. Some Peaky Blinders episodes are longer than the runtime of the film.
Also, this movie would’ve been a perfect six-episode series. The kids would’ve gotten into more shenanigans, the vampires would have more substance to them, and we would get to spend more time with Luis and his friends.
Something akin to How to Sell Drugs Online (Fast) would have worked magic for this story, and the subject matter Osmany was trying to deal with. A Limited series format would have been better for Vampires vs. the Bronx, but that’s my opinion.
So, did I enjoy the movie? Definitely! Would I have enjoyed it more, had it been a limited series? 100%, YES!
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